1) Overview

In the Philippines, a spouse (or any parent/caregiver with lawful standing) may send a demand letter for child support without a lawyer. A demand letter is not a court order, but it is often the most practical first step: it formally communicates the need for support, documents the request, and can become useful evidence later if the matter escalates to mediation, administrative remedies, or court.

The important distinctions are:

You may write and send the letter yourself.
The letter does not automatically compel payment.
It can materially improve your position by establishing a paper trail, clarifying what is being asked, and showing reasonableness.

2) Child Support in Philippine Law: What “Support” Means

2.1 What counts as “support”

Under Philippine family law principles, support generally includes what is necessary for:

Sustenance (food and basic needs)
Dwelling/shelter
Clothing
Medical and dental care
Education (tuition, school needs, reasonable expenses)
Transportation and other necessary incidentals (often treated as part of education/maintenance in practice)

Support is intended for the child’s welfare, not as a penalty or leverage against the other parent.

2.2 Who is obliged to provide support

As a rule, parents are obliged to support their children, whether the parents are married, separated in fact, annulled, or never married. The child’s right to support is independent of the parents’ relationship issues.

2.3 The guiding standard: needs vs. capacity

Support is usually determined by two factors:

The child’s needs, and
The obligor parent’s financial capacity/resources

That means support is not automatically a fixed figure. It should be reasonable and adjustable as circumstances change (e.g., tuition increases, medical needs arise, loss of job, new employment, inflation).

3) Can You Send a Demand Letter Without a Lawyer?

Yes. There is no legal requirement that a demand letter be written or sent by counsel.

A non-lawyer demand letter can still be effective if it is:

Clear about the child’s needs,
Reasonable and specific about what is requested,
Properly delivered and documented, and
Written in a way that could later be shown to a mediator, barangay officials, social worker, prosecutor (for related remedies), or a family court.

4) Legal Effect of a Demand Letter

4.1 What it is

A demand letter is a formal written request for compliance (payment or provision of support). It is primarily:

Notice to the other party,
Evidence of your attempt to resolve the matter,
A record of the date you requested support and what you asked for.

4.2 What it is not

A demand letter is not:

A court order,
A final computation of legally owed amounts,
An automatic basis to garnish salary or seize property,
A guarantee that nonpayment becomes a crime by itself.

4.3 Why it matters legally

A demand letter can matter because it:

Establishes that you requested support and the other party knew of the request.
Helps show good faith, reasonableness, and willingness to settle.
Supports later claims for reimbursement or arrears (depending on facts, receipts, and how the court treats past expenses).
Can be used to frame issues for mediation or court pleadings.
Can help rebut a defense like “I didn’t know” or “No one asked me” or “I was paying informally.”

5) Who May Send the Letter?

Typically, the following may send a demand letter for child support:

The child’s parent (mother or father)
A legal guardian or person with lawful custody
In some cases, a representative acting with authority (e.g., a relative caring for the child with the parent’s authorization), though it’s cleaner if the parent signs or formally authorizes the representative.

If the spouse sending the letter is not the child’s biological parent, their standing depends on custody/guardianship and specific family circumstances.

6) What You Can Demand: Practical Scope

Demand letters commonly ask for one or more of the following:

6.1 Monthly support

A fixed monthly amount for day-to-day needs.

6.2 Education-related support

Tuition, books, uniforms, supplies, projects, transport, allowances.

6.3 Medical support

Insurance, HMO, medicines, checkups, therapy, vaccinations, emergency costs.

6.4 Housing and utilities (if the child lives with you)

A reasonable contribution to rent/mortgage, electricity, water, internet—proportionate to the child’s share and the other parent’s capacity.

6.5 Specific in-kind support

Direct payment to school, buying groceries, paying health insurance, etc.

Best practice: be precise about what you want paid in cash and what can be paid directly to providers.

7) Demand Letter Strategy: “Reasonable, Verifiable, Sustainable”

A strong demand letter is not only “legally mindful,” it is also settlement-oriented. The most effective requests tend to be:

Reasonable: anchored to actual expenses and lifestyle baseline, not punitive.
Verifiable: supported by receipts, invoices, school assessment, medical documents.
Sustainable: aligned with the other parent’s income and ability to pay.

If you request an amount wildly beyond capacity, you may lose credibility and make settlement harder.

8) Essential Contents of a Good Demand Letter (Philippine-Appropriate)

8.1 Identification details

Full name of sender (and capacity: parent/guardian)
Full name of recipient
Child’s name and birthdate (optional if privacy concerns; can use initials in some contexts, but clarity is important)
Relationship of parties

8.2 Factual background (neutral tone)

Current living arrangement/custody situation
Who has been paying what
Any prior informal arrangements and why they are insufficient now

Avoid attacking character. Keep it factual.

8.3 Clear demand

Specify:

Amount requested (e.g., ₱____ per month),
Coverage (food, school allowance, transport, etc.),
Payment method (bank transfer/e-wallet),
Due date (e.g., every 5th of the month),
Start date (e.g., starting February 2026).

8.4 Itemized budget

Provide a table-like breakdown (even in paragraph form), e.g.:

Tuition/amortization: ₱__
Allowance/transport: ₱__
Food: ₱__
Utilities share: ₱__
Medical/HMO: ₱__
Miscellaneous school needs: ₱__

Attach supporting documents if available.

8.5 Option for direct payment

Offer alternatives:

Pay tuition directly to school,
Pay HMO directly,
Split certain expenses 50/50 or proportional to income.

This makes the demand appear reasonable and reduces friction.

8.6 Deadline and next steps

Give a fair period (commonly 5–10 business days, or up to 15 days if the request is complex). State that if there is no response, you will pursue available remedies (mediation/barangay where applicable, family court action, and other lawful options depending on circumstances).

Avoid threats of violence, harassment, or public shaming.

8.7 Reservation and documentation

State that payments should be properly labeled (e.g., “child support for [month/year]”) and that you will issue acknowledgments.

9) Best Practices for Tone and Language

Do:

Use calm, professional language.
Write as if a judge might read it someday.
Focus on the child’s needs, not the marital conflict.
Offer a practical payment plan if there are arrears.

Don’t:

Use defamatory statements (“adulterer,” “drug addict,” etc.) unless you are prepared to prove them and it is legally relevant.
Make “all-or-nothing” ultimatums that look retaliatory.
Include admissions that undermine you (e.g., “I don’t really need it but…”).
Use the letter to negotiate custody/visitation in a coercive way (support and visitation are treated as separate issues).

10) How to Send the Letter So It “Counts”

Because a demand letter’s value is often evidentiary, delivery matters.

Recommended delivery methods (use more than one when possible):

Personal service with acknowledgment: recipient signs and dates a copy.
Registered mail with return card (or any trackable mail with proof of delivery).
Courier with tracking and proof of receipt.
Email (printable trail; request acknowledgment).
Messaging apps (screenshots + exported chat logs can help; keep full thread context).

Best practice: Keep:

The signed receiving copy or proof-of-delivery,
Screenshots/printouts of electronic delivery,
A folder of receipts and supporting documents.

11) Common Pitfalls That Weaken a Demand Letter

No specific amount or schedule (“help when you can”) → hard to enforce later.
No documentary support → looks arbitrary.
Inflated, punitive demands → undermines settlement posture.
Mixing issues (support vs. marital blame vs. visitation threats).
Harassing delivery (spam calls, public posts, contacting employer to shame) → may expose you to counter-complaints.
No proof of receipt → less useful later.

12) What Happens If They Ignore the Letter?

A demand letter is often step one. If ignored, typical next steps depend on your situation:

12.1 Barangay mediation (where applicable)

Many disputes between residents of the same city/municipality may go through barangay conciliation processes before court, but there are exceptions (and family-related cases can have special handling). Even when not strictly required, amicable settlement mechanisms can be useful.

12.2 Court action for support

A parent/guardian may file the appropriate family case to obtain:

A support order, and potentially
Provisional/interim support while the case is pending, if the circumstances warrant it.

Once there is a court order, enforcement options become stronger.

12.3 Other remedies depending on facts

Certain situations—especially involving economic abuse or refusal to provide support in contexts recognized by law—may open additional remedies, but these are fact-sensitive and should be pursued carefully and lawfully.

13) Can You Demand “Back Support” (Arrears)?

Practically, many custodial parents seek reimbursement for prior months/years of expenses they shouldered alone. Outcomes depend heavily on:

Whether there was a prior agreement,
Whether you can prove the expenses,
The other parent’s capacity during that time,
How the court assesses fairness and the timing of the claim.

Best practice: If you plan to claim arrears, attach a clear ledger:

Date range,
Expense category,
Amount,
Receipt/reference number,
Total.

Even if you compromise later, having a documented computation is powerful.

14) Should You Mention Possible Legal Consequences?

You may state, neutrally, that you will pursue lawful remedies if the matter isn’t addressed. Keep it restrained:

“If we cannot reach an agreement, I will pursue the appropriate remedies to secure support for our child.”

Avoid aggressive statements like:

“I will ruin your life,”
“I will post you online,”
“I will have you jailed” (especially if you’re unsure the facts meet legal elements),
Any threats that could be construed as coercion or harassment.

15) What If You Don’t Know Their Income?

You can still write a demand letter anchored to the child’s needs and propose:

A baseline amount based on documented expenses, and/or
A proportional approach (e.g., share expenses in proportion to each parent’s income), and invite them to disclose income documents for a fair computation.

You can also propose direct payment of fixed items (tuition, HMO) while negotiating the rest.

16) What If the Other Parent Offers In-Kind Support Only?

In-kind support can be helpful, but it can also be inconsistent and hard to account for.

Best practice:

Accept reasonable in-kind support, but ask for structure: exact items, timing, proof of purchase, and how it offsets monthly support.
Prefer arrangements where the child’s critical needs (tuition, daily food budget, transport) are reliably met.

17) Special Situations

17.1 Married but separated

Even without formal legal separation/annulment, the child’s right to support remains. A demand letter may be sent while you are still legally married.

17.2 Unmarried parents

Support obligations generally still apply to parents; the demand letter is still appropriate.

17.3 Domestic violence / safety concerns

If there are safety risks, do not personally serve the letter in a way that exposes you to harm. Use registered mail/courier/email, or have a trusted third party deliver it with documentation.

17.4 Overseas parent

Use email + courier to last known address, and keep digital proof. Consider requesting direct payment to school/medical providers if remittances are irregular.

18) Template Structure (Plain-English, Philippine-Style)

You can use this outline:

(1) Date (2) Recipient name and address / email (3) Subject: Demand for Child Support for [Child’s Name] (4) Statement of relationship and child’s details (5) Current situation and expenses (6) Demand: amount, coverage, schedule, start date, payment channel (7) Attachments list (tuition assessment, receipts, medical docs, budget) (8) Request for written response by a deadline (9) Next steps if no response (lawful remedies, amicable settlement first) (10) Signature + contact details

19) Best Practices Checklist

✅ Itemize expenses and attach proof where possible
✅ Demand a clear amount and due date
✅ Offer options: cash + direct payment
✅ Use neutral language; focus on the child
✅ Send via a method with proof of receipt
✅ Keep a clean record: copies, screenshots, receipts, ledger
✅ Acknowledge payments and label them by month
✅ Avoid threats, humiliation tactics, and unrelated issues

20) Key Takeaways

Yes, a spouse/parent can send a child-support demand letter without a lawyer in the Philippines.
The letter’s main power is documentation and leverage for resolution, not automatic enforcement.
A well-written demand letter is specific, evidence-based, reasonable, and properly served—and it is drafted as though it may later be read by an impartial third party.
If ignored, the demand letter often becomes the foundation for next steps such as mediation and, when necessary, obtaining a support order through the proper forum.