(A practical legal article in Philippine context — general information, not legal advice.)

1) What a “Demand Letter for Support” Really Is

A demand letter is a written request—often from the other parent/spouse or their lawyer—asking you to provide child support and/or spousal support (also called support under Philippine law). It is commonly used to:

Start formal negotiations without immediately filing a case
Create a paper trail that support was requested (important under Philippine rules on when support becomes collectible)
Pressure the recipient by warning of court action, VAWC complaints, or other remedies

A demand letter is not a court order, but how you respond can significantly affect what happens next.

2) The Core Law on Support in the Philippines (Family Code Basics)

Philippine support law is anchored mainly on the Family Code. The key ideas:

A. What “support” includes

Support is not just food money. It generally covers what is indispensable for:

Sustenance (food)
Dwelling/shelter
Clothing
Medical and dental needs
Education (including schooling-related expenses)
Transportation connected with education and daily living, consistent with capacity

B. Who has the duty to give support

In broad strokes (and depending on the relationship proven), the duty to support commonly arises between:

Spouses (mutual support while the marriage subsists, subject to court adjustments in separation-type situations)
Parents and children (including support for minors; and in proper cases, even beyond minority when education/training reasonably continues)
Certain other close relatives (less common in demand-letter scenarios)

C. How the amount is determined

There is no fixed percentage in the Family Code. Support is generally based on two anchors:

The child’s (or recipient’s) needs (actual, reasonable, provable)
The giver’s capacity/resources (income, assets, obligations, dependents)

Courts usually aim for something fair and sustainable, not punitive.

D. When support becomes collectible (very important with demand letters)

As a practical rule in Philippine family practice, support is commonly treated as collectible from the time of judicial or extrajudicial demand, not automatically for all past years. This is one reason demand letters are sent: they help establish the date of demand.

3) Child Support vs Spousal Support (Know What You’re Being Asked For)

Child support

The child’s right to support is independent of the parents’ relationship status.
Even if parents were never married, a child may still be entitled to support once filiation/paternity is established.
Support may be given in cash or in kind (e.g., direct payment to school, HMO, rent), but clarity and documentation matter.

Spousal support

Often arises from the spouses’ mutual duty to support each other during marriage.
In situations involving separation (formal or de facto), annulment/nullity filings, or disputes, spousal support becomes fact-sensitive and may depend on court findings (including good faith, circumstances, and existing proceedings).
Many “support” demand letters include a spousal component that is actually about household support, child-related expenses, or interim financial arrangements—so you must separate the claims.

4) Why Your Response Matters: Hidden Traps in Demand Letters

A demand letter may be written to make you accidentally:

Admit paternity/filiation (if it’s disputed)
Admit income beyond what you can prove
Agree to an unsustainable amount
Waive rights through a “settlement” or “undertaking”
Say something inflammatory that could be used in a VAWC, custody, or harassment context

Your response should be calm, factual, documented, and rights-protective.

5) First Steps Before You Reply (Do This Immediately)

A. Verify what you received

Who sent it: the party or a lawyer?
If it’s from a lawyer: confirm the letterhead, office details, and whether the lawyer is actually authorized.
If it contains attachments (expense lists, receipts), organize them.

B. Preserve evidence

Keep:

The envelope (if mailed), emails, chat screenshots
Proof of any prior support you gave (bank transfers, remittance slips, receipts, school payments)
Proof of your financial capacity (payslips, ITR, contracts, medical expenses, debts—only what’s relevant)

C. Assess urgency and risk

If the letter threatens RA 9262 (VAWC) or a family court petition, treat it seriously. Even when you disagree, “ignoring it” is usually the worst move.

6) How to Respond Properly (Substance + Tone)

The goals of a strong response letter

Your reply should aim to:

Acknowledge receipt (without admitting allegations)
Show willingness to support (especially for the child)
Ask for a breakdown of claimed expenses and supporting documents
State your capacity realistically and verifiably
Offer an interim arrangement while details are being discussed
Propose a constructive process (meeting, mediation, counsel-to-counsel discussion)
Avoid admissions and attacks

What to include (recommended)

Date, reference to their letter, and brief acknowledgment
A clear statement such as:
- “I recognize the child’s need for support and I am willing to contribute in a fair amount based on needs and my capacity.”
Request for specifics:
- Monthly expense breakdown (school, food, rent, utilities, medical, transport, extracurricular)
- Receipts, tuition assessment, clinic bills, lease contract (as applicable)
Your proposal:
- A monthly amount you can pay now, plus direct payments for certain items (e.g., tuition, HMO)
- Mode of payment (bank transfer, remittance) and schedule (e.g., every 15th/30th)
A non-waiver line:
- “This response is made without prejudice to my rights and does not constitute an admission of any disputed allegation.”
A request for respectful communication, especially if tensions are high.

What NOT to include

Insults, blame, moral judgments
Threats like “I will not give anything” (especially risky where VAWC is invoked)
Unverified claims about the other party’s spending
Over-disclosure (don’t send your entire financial life—provide what supports your position)
Signing any “undertaking” that includes waivers, penalties, or open-ended increases without clear triggers

7) If You Agree You Owe Support but Disagree on the Amount

This is the most common scenario. Use a needs-and-capacity approach:

A. Ask for proof of expenses

A reasonable reply requests:

Exact monthly expenses
Which are essential vs discretionary
Receipts or objective documents

B. Offer interim support

Even while negotiating, consider providing interim support you can sustain. This helps because:

It reduces conflict
It shows good faith
It weakens claims that you “refused” outright

C. Structure payments clearly

Common practical structures:

Fixed monthly cash support + direct tuition payment
HMO/insurance coverage + smaller cash component
Shared extraordinary expenses (medical emergencies) upon prior notice, with receipts

Document everything.

8) If You Dispute Paternity/Filiation or Relationship Claims

Be careful and precise. You can respond without conceding:

If paternity is genuinely disputed, your response can state you are willing to discuss support subject to proof of filiation and proper legal processes.
Avoid statements like “Yes, my child” if your position is denial—because admissions can be used later.
If you previously acted as the parent publicly (support, acknowledgement, use of surname), consult counsel quickly, because facts can affect how disputes play out.

Even when disputing, keep the tone non-hostile and process-focused.

9) If the Letter Threatens RA 9262 (VAWC)

RA 9262 (Violence Against Women and Their Children) includes economic abuse, which may involve controlling or depriving financial support in certain contexts involving women and children in covered relationships.

What to do in your response:

Keep the reply measured and solution-oriented
Avoid retaliatory language
Offer a verifiable interim support plan if appropriate
Route communications through counsel if the situation is volatile

If you fear a VAWC filing, document all support offered/provided and keep communications respectful and consistent.

10) Settlement Options: How Agreements Are Commonly Made Safer

If you intend to settle, good practice is to reduce ambiguity:

A. Put it in writing with specifics

Amount, due dates, payment channels
What expenses are covered
When and how adjustments happen (e.g., school year changes, tuition increases with proof)

B. Avoid vague clauses

Dangerous examples:

“Support will increase as needed” (undefined)
“Failure to pay one month means total liability” (harsh, may be weaponized)
“Waiver of claims” (could affect rights)

C. Consider court recognition when needed

Sometimes parties convert agreements into court-approved arrangements, especially if conflict is high or enforcement is expected.

11) If a Case Is Filed After the Demand Letter: What Usually Happens

Depending on facts, the other party may file:

A petition/action for support in family court
A request for support pendente lite (support while the case is ongoing)
Related actions touching custody/visitation, protection orders (in VAWC contexts), etc.

Courts can issue interim orders to ensure a child is supported while disputes are being resolved.

12) Barangay Conciliation: Is It Required?

Many civil disputes require barangay conciliation under the Katarungang Pambarangay system, but family-related cases and urgent matters can be exception-heavy in practice, and applicability may depend on the parties’ residence, the nature of the action, and whether immediate court relief is needed.

Practical takeaway:

Don’t assume the demand letter must go through barangay first.
Don’t ignore barangay summons if it comes—non-appearance can create problems.
If unsure, treat it as a procedural point to raise through counsel while continuing good-faith support discussions.

13) Practical Checklist: What to Gather (So You Don’t Lose Leverage)

Proof you should compile

Payslips / contract / ITR (selectively, as needed)
Proof of existing support sent (bank transfers, remittances, receipts)
Proof of non-cash support (tuition paid, groceries delivered, HMO payments)
Messages showing attempts to coordinate support
Your necessary expenses (rent, dependents, medical obligations) to show capacity constraints

Proof you should request from the demander

Child’s school assessment and official fees
Monthly breakdown of expenses with receipts
Medical bills / prescriptions if medical support is claimed
Any proof relevant to the claimed living arrangements (if shelter/rent is a major component)

14) A Solid Sample Response Letter (Philippine Style)

You can adapt this. Keep it short and non-combative.

[Your Name] [Your Address / City] [Email / Mobile] [Date]

[Name of Sender / Counsel] [Address / Email]

Subject: Response to Demand for Support

Dear [Name],

I acknowledge receipt of your letter dated [date] regarding the request for child/spousal support.

I recognize the need to ensure proper support, particularly for [child’s name], and I am willing to contribute in a fair and sustainable amount consistent with the child’s needs and my financial capacity. However, to facilitate a clear and objective discussion, I respectfully request a detailed monthly breakdown of the expenses being claimed (e.g., school fees, food, shelter, utilities, medical, transportation, and other necessary items), together with available supporting documents such as tuition assessments, official receipts, and medical documents, if applicable.

Without prejudice and while the expense details are being finalized, I am prepared to provide interim support of PHP [amount] per month starting [date], payable every [date] through [bank/remittance details]. In addition, I am open to paying specific major items directly (e.g., tuition or HMO/medical insurance), subject to documentation.

I propose that we discuss and finalize an arrangement through a meeting or counsel-to-counsel conference within [reasonable period, e.g., 7–14 days]. This response is made in good faith and without prejudice to my rights, and it should not be taken as an admission of any disputed factual or legal allegation.

Thank you.

Respectfully, [Signature] [Printed Name]

15) When You Should Get a Lawyer Immediately

You should strongly consider legal help if:

The letter threatens or mentions VAWC, protection orders, or criminal complaints
There is a dispute about paternity/filiation
The amount demanded is far beyond your capacity or seems strategic/punitive
There are custody/visitation issues tied to money
You have multiple dependents and need a structured, defensible support plan
You are being pushed to sign an “undertaking” with waivers or penalties

16) Key Principles to Remember

Child support is the child’s right, not a “favor” to the other parent.
The legal standard is needs + capacity, not emotion or punishment.
A demand letter is a strategic step—your response should be strategic too: documented, respectful, and process-driven.
Providing interim support (when appropriate) can reduce legal risk and strengthen your position.
Never sign vague commitments; insist on clear terms and documentation.

If you want, paste the demand letter’s text (remove names/addresses), and I’ll rewrite a response tailored to its wording and the specific claims—still keeping it careful, non-admitting, and aligned with Philippine support principles.