1) What a “demand letter” is—and why it matters in child support disputes

A demand letter is a written notice (usually from the other parent or their lawyer) asserting that you have a legal duty to provide child support, stating an amount, and requesting payment within a deadline. It is not a court order. Still, it can have real legal consequences because:

It often serves as extrajudicial demand for support, which can affect when support arrears start accruing.
It may preview (or threaten) a court filing—typically a civil case for support and/or a complaint under R.A. 9262 (VAWC) for economic abuse if the complainant is a woman and the child is covered by the law.
Your response (or silence) can later be used to show good faith, capacity to pay, refusal, or admissions (depending on the wording).

When you are overseas, the practical stakes increase: missed deadlines, service of papers, and “default” risk can become harder to manage if you ignore correspondence.

2) The Philippine legal foundation of child support

A. What “support” includes (Family Code)

Under the Family Code of the Philippines (E.O. 209, as amended), “support” is broader than food money. It generally includes what is indispensable for a child’s:

sustenance (food),
dwelling/shelter,
clothing,
medical and dental care,
education (including schooling-related expenses), and
transportation consistent with the child’s situation.

Support is child-centered: it’s meant to meet the child’s needs in a manner proportionate to the parents’ circumstances.

B. Who must give support

A parent’s duty to support a child exists whether the child is legitimate or illegitimate. The duty is grounded in the child’s right to support and the parent’s legal obligation.

C. How the amount is determined

Philippine law does not set a fixed percentage of income for child support. Courts generally apply the principle that support should be:

in proportion to the child’s needs, and
in proportion to the parent’s resources and means.

That means support can go up or down depending on changes in need (tuition increases, illness) and capacity (job loss, pay cut, new employment).

D. When support becomes payable (demand matters)

A key concept: support is demandable when needed, but payment is generally enforced from the date of judicial or extrajudicial demand. A demand letter can be used to argue that you were already placed on notice, so ignoring it can increase exposure to arrears from that point forward.

E. Support is not a bargaining chip

In principle, child support is independent from visitation. Withholding support to “force” visitation (or withholding access to punish non-payment) commonly escalates conflict and can backfire legally. Courts focus on the child’s welfare.

3) Special issues that commonly arise: legitimacy, paternity, and proof of filiation

Child support depends on the legal relationship between parent and child. In practice, the other side may prove filiation through:

the child’s birth certificate (especially if the father is named and has signed, depending on circumstances),
a recognition document or acknowledgment,
written admissions and messages,
“open and continuous possession of status” evidence (how the father held the child out), and
other admissible proof.

If paternity is genuinely disputed, the response strategy changes (see Section 8). But careless wording can unintentionally concede paternity or prior agreements.

4) What the other side can file if negotiations fail

A. Civil action for support (and provisional support)

A common route is a civil case asking the Family Court/RTC to:

fix a monthly support amount,
order support pendente lite (temporary support while the case is pending),
require payment of certain expenses (school, medical),
determine arrears from the date of demand, and
enforce compliance (including possible contempt for violating court orders).

Courts can issue interim orders quickly when a child’s needs are shown.

B. VAWC (R.A. 9262) for economic abuse (important risk area)

If the complainant is a woman covered by R.A. 9262 and the respondent is within the covered relationships, failure/refusal to provide legally due support can be alleged as economic abuse. VAWC cases can involve:

Protection Orders (temporary/permanent) that may include directives related to financial support, and
a criminal complaint (with the possibility of a warrant, depending on how the case proceeds).

Even when you are overseas, VAWC complaints are often filed in the Philippines where the complainant or child resides, and legal processes can move without you being physically present at every step—especially if you do not actively participate through counsel.

C. Related proceedings that can carry support issues

Support often appears inside other family cases too, such as:

annulment/nullity/legal separation proceedings,
custody/visitation disputes (support is frequently ordered alongside),
protection order proceedings.

5) Being overseas: jurisdiction, service of summons, and “default” risk

A. If you are a Filipino resident temporarily abroad (common OFW scenario)

Philippine courts can generally proceed against persons who remain Philippine residents but are temporarily outside the country. Service of court papers may be allowed through modes appropriate for defendants abroad, typically with court permission and compliance with procedural rules.

B. If you are a non-resident abroad

If you are treated as a true non-resident and have no presence, cases that are strictly in personam (against the person) can be harder to enforce unless you voluntarily appear, or unless there is property within the Philippines that can be reached through appropriate remedies.

C. Practical meaning of “default”

If a civil support case is filed and you fail to respond to summons properly, the court can proceed and you may lose the chance to contest amounts, evidence, and terms—resulting in enforceable orders and accumulating arrears.

D. Criminal exposure vs. “imprisonment for debt”

The Constitution prohibits imprisonment for debt, but contempt (disobeying a lawful court order) and criminal statutes (like alleged economic abuse under R.A. 9262) are different legal pathways. The risk is often less about “owing money” and more about:

being accused of a criminal act under a specific law, and/or
violating a court order once issued.

E. Remote participation and representation

Even if you cannot attend hearings in person:

A lawyer can appear for you.
Evidence can be presented through documents and sworn statements.
Courts may allow remote testimony/appearance in appropriate situations, subject to court discretion and rules.

6) Documents executed abroad: how to make them usable in Philippine proceedings

When you’re overseas, you may need to sign:

a Special Power of Attorney (SPA) (to authorize someone in the Philippines to act, receive summons, sign documents, coordinate with counsel, etc.),
affidavits or sworn statements,
settlement documents.

Common requirements:

If signed abroad, documents often must be notarized properly and then authenticated for Philippine use.
Since the Philippines is part of the Apostille system, many public documents notarized abroad can be apostilled by the host country (where applicable) for recognition in the Philippines. In countries not covered or where special rules apply, consular notarization at the Philippine Embassy/Consulate may be used.

Mistakes here are costly: an improperly executed SPA can leave you unable to act effectively in urgent proceedings.

7) First response strategy: what you should do immediately upon receiving the demand letter

Step 1: Treat it as time-sensitive

Even if you think the demanded amount is unreasonable, do not ignore the letter. Silence is frequently framed as refusal.

Step 2: Verify what exactly is being demanded

Demand letters vary. Identify:

the child(ren) involved,
claimed relationship basis,
the amount requested and how computed,
whether “arrears” are being claimed and from what date,
payment method requested,
deadlines and threatened filings (civil support, VAWC, etc.).

Step 3: Gather your evidence (before replying)

Prepare:

proof of your income (employment contract, payslips, bank credits),
proof of your necessary expenses and dependents (rent, medical, other children),
proof of payments already made (remittance slips, bank transfer confirmations),
communications showing prior agreements or arrangements,
proof relating to filiation if it is disputed.

Step 4: Decide your position (broadly)

Most cases fall into one of these tracks:

You accept the duty to support but dispute the amount or terms.
You accept duty and want to settle quickly with clear terms.
You dispute paternity/filiation or legal duty.
You accept duty but are temporarily unable to pay at the demanded level.

Your letter should be consistent with the track you choose.

8) Writing the response letter: goals, tone, and what to include (especially from overseas)

A. The goals of a good response

A strong response typically aims to:

prevent escalation to litigation or narrow issues if filing happens,
show child-focused good faith (without overcommitting),
request the information needed to compute a fair amount,
propose a workable interim arrangement,
protect you from accidental admissions or damaging statements.

B. Tone: firm, factual, child-centered

Avoid insults, threats, or moral arguments. Courts and opposing counsel look for:

reasonableness,
reliability,
focus on the child’s needs.

C. Delivery: use a reliable, provable channel

From overseas, prioritize:

email with delivery/read confirmations where possible,
courier with tracking for signed originals if demanded,
keep a dated PDF copy and attachments.

D. Core elements to include (a practical checklist)

A response commonly includes:

Acknowledgment of receipt (date and reference).
Position statement (accept duty / dispute amount / dispute paternity).
Request for itemization of the child’s monthly expenses (tuition, transport, food, medical, utilities, caregiver costs, etc.).
Your financial context (income range and constraints, without oversharing irrelevant details).
Interim support proposal (a reasonable amount pending exchange of documents or pending court determination).
Payment mechanics (bank details, schedule, currency/exchange handling).
A proposal for structured resolution, such as:
- a written child support agreement,
- direct payment of tuition/medical where appropriate,
- a periodic review schedule (e.g., every school year).
Reservation of rights / no waiver language (especially if facts are disputed).
Request for written confirmation of acceptance of the interim arrangement.

E. A critical caution: admissions and compromise language

If paternity, relationship, or alleged arrears are contested, the letter should be carefully written to avoid:

admitting paternity inadvertently,
admitting that a specific amount is “due” (especially arrears),
making statements that could be framed as refusal to support.

This is especially sensitive if the other side is signaling a VAWC complaint.

9) If you accept your support obligation but disagree with the demanded amount

A. How to argue “fair support” in Philippine terms

Courts typically look for:

the child’s actual needs and standard of living,
your capacity (net resources, not only gross salary),
the other parent’s contribution (support is ideally shared),
extraordinary expenses (therapy, special schooling, chronic illness),
number of dependents.

A response can propose:

a base monthly support,
plus direct payment of specific fixed items (tuition, health insurance),
plus proportional sharing of variable medical expenses upon presentation of receipts.

B. Avoid common traps

“Fixed percentage” claims: There is no automatic statutory percentage in Philippine law; treat claims like “X% of salary is required” with caution unless tied to a court order or settlement you signed.
Overpromising: An amount you cannot sustain becomes future arrears and litigation fuel.
All-cash arrangements: Cash is hard to prove. Prefer traceable payments.

10) If you dispute paternity or filiation

If you genuinely dispute being the child’s parent, the response should be especially careful.

A. What the response should do

State that you cannot admit liability for support without established filiation.
Request the documents and basis for the claim (birth certificate details, acknowledgment, etc.).
Propose appropriate steps to clarify filiation (often including DNA testing arrangements, where legally and practically feasible).

B. The “interim support” dilemma

A practical tension exists: refusing to pay anything may be framed as bad faith (and in some situations may be alleged as economic abuse), but paying can be portrayed as implied acknowledgment. Responses in this track often:

avoid labeling any payment as “child support,” and instead use carefully framed language (handled with legal guidance),
focus on factual requests and lawful processes,
avoid emotional or accusatory statements.

Because the consequences can include criminal exposure depending on the broader relationship context, wording discipline matters.

11) If you want to pay but your finances are currently constrained

If you are temporarily unemployed, underemployed, ill, or otherwise constrained:

Explain the constraint with verifiable proof (termination letter, medical certificate, reduced payslip).
Propose a temporary reduced support with a clear review date.
Offer in-kind/direct payments for essentials (e.g., tuition installment, medicine) if cash-flow is tight.
Avoid “zero support” positions unless absolutely unavoidable—and if unavoidable, document why and propose alternatives.

Courts generally prioritize children’s needs, but they also recognize genuine inability—especially when supported by documentation and consistent good faith efforts.

12) Paying from overseas: practical best practices that reduce disputes

A. Make payments traceable and child-specific

Use:

bank transfers,
reputable remittance centers with receipts,
payments directly to schools/hospitals when appropriate.

Always keep:

receipts,
reference numbers,
screenshots,
bank confirmations,
a simple ledger (date, amount, currency, purpose).

B. Use a clear payment reference

Example references: “Support – [Child Initials] – [Month Year]”.

C. Plan for currency and exchange issues

Agree in writing (or propose in your response):

whether the amount is fixed in PHP or in your earning currency,
how exchange rates are handled,
what happens when remittance fees change.

D. Avoid “handed to a relative” arrangements without documentation

Payments routed through relatives often become disputed. If unavoidable, document with signed acknowledgments and transfer records.

13) Settling without court: what a strong child support agreement usually covers

A private agreement can reduce conflict, but it should be structured. Common provisions include:

Base monthly support (amount, due date, payment channel).
Education costs (tuition, uniforms, books, tutoring, school trips).
Healthcare (insurance, routine care, emergencies; how reimbursement works).
Extraordinary expenses (therapy, special needs, braces, hospitalization).
Accounting and transparency (what receipts are provided and when).
Annual review (tuition increases, salary changes).
Arrears handling (if any; schedule and method).
Dispute resolution (mediation, counsel-to-counsel conference).
Non-waiver of child’s rights (support cannot be permanently waived).

Even with an agreement, either party can still ask the court to adjust support if circumstances materially change, because support is tied to needs and capacity.

14) Common mistakes that worsen outcomes (especially for overseas parents)

Ignoring the letter (often increases arrears exposure and speeds up filing).
Sending angry replies (screenshots become exhibits).
Admitting key facts casually (paternity, arrears, prior agreements).
Withholding support to punish denial of visitation.
Paying untraceably (cash, informal couriers).
Overcommitting to an amount you cannot maintain.
Failing to appoint a representative in the Philippines when overseas (missed deadlines, missed service, procedural disadvantages).
Signing documents abroad incorrectly (invalid SPA/affidavits).

15) A structured outline you can model for a response letter (content-level, not a fill-in form)

Heading, date, reference to demand letter
Acknowledgment of receipt
Clarify your position (accept duty / dispute amount / dispute filiation)
Request specific documents/information (itemized expenses, school billing, medical needs, bank details)
State your current financial circumstances (brief, factual)
Interim proposal (amount and/or direct payments) effective immediately, without prejudice to final computation
Payment method and schedule
Proposal to finalize a written agreement and review schedule
Reservation of rights and closing formalities (signature)

Key takeaways

A demand letter is not a court order, but it can mark the start of extrajudicial demand, influencing arrears and litigation posture.
Philippine child support is based on needs and capacity, not a fixed percentage.
Being overseas does not eliminate exposure; it increases the importance of timely, careful written responses, traceable payments, and properly executed documents.
The highest-risk area is escalation into proceedings that can include provisional support orders, contempt exposure for non-compliance with court orders, and potentially VAWC allegations depending on the relationship context.