LETTER TO A LAWYER

Dear Attorney,

Greetings. I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to seek legal guidance on a situation involving my family. Several years ago, our mother left us and went away with another man. My father was left to take care of all of us children and did everything he could to provide for our day-to-day needs. Later, our mother returned, and we discovered only then that she had been living with someone else. Things became more difficult when she started hurling insults at us, wishing harm upon us, depriving us of food, and even threatening to file legal cases against my father.

Given this complicated dynamic, I would like to understand our legal rights and the possible steps we can take to protect ourselves and our father from her threats. Any information you can provide about the relevant laws, our rights as children, and any procedures we could follow would be greatly appreciated. I would like to make sure we are fully aware of our options should she continue with these threats or engage in further harmful conduct.

Thank you for taking the time to read my concerns. Your expert advice on the matter is of utmost importance to me and my siblings. I look forward to any insights or recommendations you might have.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Child

A COMPREHENSIVE LEGAL ARTICLE ON PHILIPPINE LAW REGARDING MATERNAL ABANDONMENT, VERBAL ABUSE, AND POTENTIAL LEGAL ACTIONS

Overview of Family Rights and Obligations
Under Philippine law, family matters are primarily governed by the Family Code of the Philippines (Executive Order No. 209, as amended). Parents have the obligation to care for, support, and guide their children. This obligation arises the moment the child is born and continues until the child reaches the age of majority (18 years old) or beyond, if the child is incapacitated to support themselves. Parental authority is a sacred trust, under which both parents share rights and obligations pertaining to the welfare of their children.
Child Abandonment and Neglect
Abandonment refers to a parent’s failure to provide the necessities of life—such as food, shelter, and emotional support—to their child. In the Philippines, the Special Protection of Children Against Abuse, Exploitation and Discrimination Act (Republic Act No. 7610) offers strong protection for children’s rights. When a parent abandons the children, whether physically by leaving them behind or failing to provide support, such an act may be construed as neglect or even psychological abuse if it causes emotional and mental harm to the minors. In addition, the Revised Penal Code of the Philippines punishes certain forms of abandonment under specific circumstances, such as if the child is left in danger without any provision for his or her basic needs.
Verbal Abuse and Psychological Harm
Verbal abuse, such as the mother’s hurling of insults, wishing ill upon the children, and cursing them, can fall under psychological violence, which is recognized by the Anti-Violence Against Women and Their Children Act of 2004 (Republic Act No. 9262). Although this law primarily protects women and their children against acts of violence committed by the husband, father, or any other person with whom the woman has a relationship, the children themselves are likewise protected from any form of abuse, including acts committed by either parent if it results in emotional or psychological harm.
- Psychological Violence: Under Section 3(a) of RA 9262, psychological violence refers to acts or omissions causing or likely to cause mental or emotional suffering to the victim, such as intimidation, harassment, stalking, damage to property, public ridicule or humiliation, repeated verbal abuse, and mental infidelity.
- Relevant Remedies: If the children are the victims of verbal and psychological abuse from their mother, the father or any authorized representative (e.g., a concerned relative, social worker) can seek legal intervention. This might include filing for a protection order in favor of the children or reporting the abuse to the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) or local law enforcement authorities.
Possible Legal Actions Against the Mother
If the mother is depriving the children of food, subjecting them to verbal abuse, or causing psychological harm, there are potential legal avenues available:
1. Filing a Complaint under RA 7610: Since RA 7610 protects children from abuse, exploitation, and discrimination, the acts of cursing and wishing death upon the children could be deemed a form of psychological abuse, especially if there is an intent to harm them emotionally.
2. Filing a Complaint under RA 9262: Even though RA 9262 is usually invoked by women and their children against abusive husbands or fathers, the provision still extends protection to children who are victims of abuse within the family context. Legal scholars debate whether mothers can be respondents under RA 9262 for abuse directed toward their children, and some jurisprudence suggests that children can indeed be protected irrespective of which parent is causing harm. Nonetheless, there is some legal nuance in interpreting the coverage of RA 9262.
3. Civil Case for Support: If the mother has the financial capacity but refuses to provide child support, the father can file a civil action to compel her to contribute to the children’s financial needs. Parental support is mandated by law, and both parents are equally responsible for meeting the necessities of their children.
Threats of Legal Action by the Mother
When the mother threatens to file a lawsuit against the father, it is crucial to analyze the legal grounds for such a suit. The mother could allege various causes of action—such as kidnapping, illegal detention, or child abuse by the father—but to successfully prosecute, she must present evidence of wrongdoing. If the father is simply caring for his children, fulfilling his parental duties, and has not committed any form of abuse, then the mother’s threats may lack legal merit. In such cases, the father should:
- Document Everything: Keep records of all interactions. If the mother has been verbally abusive or threatened the children, save messages, videos, or audio recordings (if legally obtained) that can establish the nature of her behavior.
- Secure Witnesses: Neighbors, relatives, or close family friends who have witnessed the mother’s behavior or the father’s proper care of the children can be valuable in the event a legal dispute arises.
- Consult a Lawyer: It is prudent to immediately consult with legal counsel to determine the best defensive strategies should the mother file a case. Legal advice will be tailored to the specific facts and circumstances of the family’s situation.
Child Custody and Parental Authority
Child custody disputes can arise when parents separate or when one parent has allegedly failed to properly care for the children. In deciding custody matters, courts in the Philippines use the “best interest of the child” principle. Factors considered may include the ability of each parent to provide a stable home environment, emotional and psychological support, and proper care.
- Custody for Children Under Seven (7) Years Old: Generally, under the “tender years” doctrine, children under the age of seven are deemed best placed under the care of the mother, unless there are compelling reasons to order otherwise. However, maternal abandonment and abuse are significant considerations that can override this presumption.
- Older Children’s Preference: If the children are older than seven, the court may take their preference into account in awarding custody. If they fear further harm from the mother, they could express such concerns in court or to a social worker.
Legal Remedies to Protect Children
The law provides several protective orders for the benefit of children who are victims of abuse or threats of abuse:
1. Barangay Protection Order (BPO): This is often the quickest protective order to obtain. The victim or any authorized representative can request it from the Barangay Chairperson, and it can be effective immediately to prevent the abuser from committing further harm.
2. Temporary Protection Order (TPO) and Permanent Protection Order (PPO): These are court-issued orders under RA 9262. While RA 9262 is typically enforced against men who commit violence, there is discussion about whether it can be used against any family member who perpetuates violence against children.
3. Protective Custody by the DSWD: If there is imminent danger to the children, social welfare officers can place them under temporary protective custody, ensuring their safety from any abusive parent or guardian.
Financial Support and Maintenance
Support is defined in the Family Code as including everything indispensable for sustenance, dwelling, clothing, medical or educational expenses, in keeping with the financial capacity of the family. Both parents are bound to contribute, in proportion to their resources, to the care and well-being of their children. When one parent fails to provide such support, the other parent (or a guardian on behalf of the children) may file a petition for support with the proper court. This ensures that the children’s fundamental needs are met.
- Legal Basis: Articles 194 to 203 of the Family Code outline the nature, extent, and enforcement of the obligation to give support.
- Enforcement: In instances where a parent refuses to comply with a support order, the court can take measures to enforce payment, including the issuance of a writ of execution against the parent’s property or garnishment of his or her salary.
Adultery, Concubinage, and Marital Offenses
If the mother was involved in a relationship with another man during the subsistence of her marriage, the father may theoretically file charges for adultery (punishable under the Revised Penal Code) if they remain legally married. Adultery is committed by a married woman who engages in sexual relations with a man not her husband. However, there are practical and evidentiary hurdles in pursuing this criminal case, such as proving actual sexual intercourse and presenting sufficient evidence in court. Additionally, these charges usually do not directly resolve child custody or support issues but may serve as a basis for moral damages or for demonstrating a parent’s moral fitness during custody battles.
Annulment, Legal Separation, and Nullity of Marriage
Depending on the father’s intentions, he might consider legal actions relating to the marital relationship, such as:
- Annulment: Grounds include lack of parental consent, insanity, fraud, force, intimidation, or undue influence, impotence, or sexually transmissible disease.
- Legal Separation: This does not sever the marital bond but ends cohabitation. Grounds include repeated physical violence, moral pressure, drug addiction, infidelity, and others listed under the Family Code.
- Declaration of Nullity of Marriage: This is applicable if the marriage is void from the beginning, for reasons such as psychological incapacity under Article 36 of the Family Code or bigamous/polygamous marriages.
While these suits primarily concern marital status, they inevitably cover matters such as child custody, support, and property relations. A father dealing with an absent mother or a mother who abandoned the family might find resolution for the family’s future stability through these legal remedies.
Psychological Incapacity Under the Family Code
Psychological incapacity, as recognized under Article 36 of the Family Code, refers to a mental incapacity that prevents a spouse from complying with the essential obligations of marriage. If the mother’s actions—abandonment, persistent verbal abuse, and failure to provide support—could be attributed to a grave psychological condition, it might be a ground for a petition for the declaration of nullity of marriage. However, this ground is not a catch-all for marital dissatisfaction; it must be proven to be of a juridical antecedence, grave, and incurable nature.
Evidence and Documentation
In any family law dispute, documentary and testimonial evidence are vital. These may include:
- Medical Records: If the children suffered emotional or psychological harm, a psychologist or psychiatrist’s findings could be relevant to a legal case.
- Social Worker’s Report: The DSWD often conducts home visits and interviews to assess the condition of the children, which can be submitted as evidence in court.
- Photographs, Videos, Audio Recordings: Lawfully obtained recordings that show the mother’s neglect or verbal abuse can be persuasive.
- Witness Testimonies: Neighbors, relatives, teachers, or friends can testify to the children’s experiences, the father’s efforts to provide for them, and the mother’s behavior.
Role of Barangay and Community
The barangay plays a pivotal role in addressing domestic disputes. Parties are often required to undergo mediation at the barangay level before they can file certain cases in court, except in cases of serious offenses like child abuse or violence under RA 9262. Should the mother’s threats persist, the father or a concerned family member may seek a Barangay Protection Order if there is imminent danger to the children.
Involvement of the DSWD and NGOs
In situations where children are abused or neglected, the Department of Social Welfare and Development has the legal mandate to intervene. They can investigate the living situation and help file the appropriate legal actions. In extreme cases, they can also recommend temporary custody or shelter for the children. Non-governmental organizations focusing on child welfare may similarly provide legal assistance, psychological support, and shelter.
Jurisdiction of Courts
Family law issues are generally handled by the Regional Trial Court (Family Courts) if the case involves petitions for custody, support, annulment, nullity, or legal separation. Criminal cases for abuse, abandonment, adultery, and other offenses may be filed before the proper courts with territorial jurisdiction over the area where the offense was committed or where the mother or father resides.
Defending Against Unfounded Allegations
Should the mother proceed with baseless lawsuits, the father can:
- File a Motion to Dismiss: If the lawsuit does not state a valid cause of action or is clearly frivolous, a motion to dismiss can be an effective remedy.
- Submit Counter-Affidavits: For criminal complaints filed before the prosecutor’s office, the father can submit his counter-affidavit refuting the claims.
- Gather Exculpatory Evidence: Providing substantial evidence (e.g., proof of providing for the children, testimonies of the children or third parties) can weaken the mother’s claims.
The Best Interests of the Children as Paramount
Philippine courts adhere strictly to the principle that, in all actions concerning children, their best interests shall be the controlling consideration. Even if the mother initiates legal action, the court will primarily look at what benefits or harms the children. If she is the abusive or neglectful party, the court will be mindful of protecting the children against further harm. This principle undergirds every piece of legislation dealing with child custody, support, and protection.
Mediation and Amicable Settlement
Although the mother’s behavior as described is concerning, alternative dispute resolution methods such as mediation may still be available, especially when dealing with child custody or support. Court-annexed mediation can help clarify misunderstandings, arrange structured visitation schedules if appropriate, and discuss financial responsibilities for the children. However, if abuse is ongoing or the children’s welfare is at risk, immediate legal protections take priority over mediation attempts.
Practical Steps for the Father and Children

Secure a Lawyer: Immediate legal consultation is crucial. A lawyer can assess the mother’s threats and guide the father on preparing evidence, securing witnesses, and responding effectively to potential lawsuits.
Obtain a Protection Order: If there is clear danger or abuse, it is prudent to secure a barangay or court-issued protection order to shield the children from further harm.
File for Child Custody: To formalize the children’s living arrangements, the father may initiate custody proceedings if the mother’s behavior is detrimental to the children’s well-being.
Maintain Records: Document all support provided by the father (e.g., receipts for groceries, medical expenses, tuition fees). Keep records of any threatening or harassing messages from the mother.
Attend Counseling: Emotional and psychological well-being is just as important. If possible, consult a family counselor or psychologist to help the children process the trauma.

Penalties for Violators

Under RA 9262: Psychological violence may be punishable by imprisonment of six months to six years, depending on the gravity of the offense, and the court can also impose fines and issue protection orders.
Under RA 7610: Those found guilty of child abuse can face various degrees of penalties, from prision correccional to reclusion temporal, depending on the severity and circumstances of the abuse.
For Non-Support: Failure to provide child support can lead to a civil case where the court compels compliance through measures like garnishment of wages or seizure of property.

Preventive Measures and Family Counseling
Philippine law encourages family solidarity and reconciliation when possible. Local government units often have social workers, counselors, or programs that attempt to mend familial relationships. However, if the mother’s threats and abusive behavior continue unabated, the priority is safeguarding the children. Family counseling might be an option if the mother is willing to mend relationships and abide by a reasonable framework. But where threats or violence persist, legal remedies should be pursued decisively.
Scenarios Where the Mother Could Lawfully Sue

Child Abuse by the Father: If the mother can show that the father has been physically, psychologically, or economically abusive toward the children, she could file under RA 9262 on behalf of the children.
Failure to Provide Support: If the father fails to provide adequate support while still under legal obligation, the mother might file a support case, but this scenario seems contrary to the facts described, as the father has been the primary provider.
Custody Disputes: The mother might file a custody case if she believes she can provide a more suitable environment for the children. However, abandonment or demonstrable abuse on her part severely weakens her position in court.

Jurisdictional Nuances
If the mother resides in a different city or province, venue and jurisdictional issues might arise. Typically, child custody and family law cases are filed where the child or either parent resides. If the mother files a frivolous complaint in a far-flung jurisdiction, the father may challenge venue to avoid undue harassment.
Importance of Legal Counsel
The complexities of Philippine family law necessitate skilled legal representation. A father facing unfounded lawsuits or dealing with an abusive spouse needs thorough guidance on filing the right petitions, presenting evidence effectively, and protecting the children. A lawyer will also help explore whether the father might bring criminal charges against the mother for abandonment, child abuse, or other transgressions under RA 7610 or RA 9262.
Protecting the Emotional Welfare of the Children
Beyond legal steps, it is vital to ensure that the children receive emotional support during such turmoil. The father or any guardian should consider seeking professional counseling or therapy. Schools often have guidance counselors who can also help monitor the children’s well-being. Ensuring a stable home life, free from harm and threats, remains the most important goal.
Potential Impact of the Mother’s Conduct on Future Family Relations
Should the mother continue her abusive behavior, her relationship with the children could be strained long-term. Courts do factor in the emotional bond (or lack thereof) between parent and child when making rulings about visitation rights. If the mother demonstrates remorse or a willingness to change, the father might consider structured visitation, supervised by a social worker or a neutral third party, to ensure the children’s safety and to slowly rebuild trust.
Alternative Dispute Resolution in Family Courts
Family Courts often encourage parties to settle disagreements through judicial dispute resolution. A judge, before fully litigating a case, may set a conference to see if there is room for a settlement that ensures child welfare. While a settlement is ideal in some circumstances, it is not always possible when there is a history of abuse or when the mother’s threats persist.
Social Services and Legal Aid
Individuals who cannot afford a private attorney may seek assistance from the Public Attorney’s Office (PAO) if they qualify under the means test. Organizations such as the Integrated Bar of the Philippines, law school legal aid clinics, and child-focused NGOs can also offer pro bono or low-cost legal services. The DSWD can provide temporary shelter, counseling, and resources for abused or neglected children.
Important Takeaways for Affected Families

Gather Evidence Early: Photographs, documentation of expenses, witness statements, and psychological reports are crucial.
Act Promptly: In legal conflicts, timing matters. If an abuse complaint or an unfounded lawsuit is filed, respond within the deadlines to avoid default judgments or negative presumptions.
Stay Informed: Regularly consult with a lawyer. Laws and jurisprudence evolve, and consistent legal advice will help navigate these changes.
Prioritize Children’s Well-Being: Any legal action should ultimately protect the children’s interests, ensuring they receive proper care, emotional support, and financial maintenance.

Final Thoughts and Practical Guidance
The situation described—where a mother abandons her children, joins another man, later returns with verbal abuse, and threatens the father with baseless lawsuits—presents a complex interplay of familial rights and responsibilities. Philippine law, grounded in the principle of child protection, provides mechanisms to ensure the children’s best interests remain paramount. If the mother is indeed committing psychological or emotional abuse, the father or guardians can invoke legal remedies under RA 7610 or potentially RA 9262, bearing in mind the need to present solid evidence of abuse. Furthermore, a father who has faithfully fulfilled his parental obligations should not be dissuaded by empty legal threats. Proper documentation, witness statements, and the guidance of a competent attorney serve as a formidable defense.

Above all, safeguarding the children’s welfare—both physical and emotional—is the central aim of the Family Code and child protection laws. When one parent fails in these duties, the other can, and should, step in to shield the children from harm and ensure they receive the support they need. Court processes can be lengthy and emotionally taxing, but they remain a vital tool for resolving disputes fairly and permanently. By staying informed, gathering evidence, and cooperating with social services, families in such circumstances can find a path to a more stable, secure future.

Disclaimer: This article is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Specific cases and fact patterns vary, so parties facing similar concerns should consult an attorney or seek assistance from qualified legal professionals. While every effort has been made to provide accurate and up-to-date information, laws and regulations may change, and interpretations can differ based on evolving jurisprudence.